Sling-In Scheduled To Honor Fallen Gorilla Harambe

The national mourning continues for Harambe, the silverback gorilla who was killed this past weekend at the Cincinnati Zoo. Local residents are stepping up and have organized a sling-in to honor the fallen primate hero. Participants will sling poo at each other in hopes of raising awareness for violence against great apes.

Marge D. Toole, organizer of the event says the goal of the poo-in is to honor the way Harambe lived as well as raise awareness of violence against the species. When asked how many apes have been killed in zoos while attempting to save a child’s life per year Toole said, “Well we know of at least that one has, but how many others we can only guess, maybe millions, at least 50.”

Other supporters noted that shooting the ape was an odd choice, noting there are literally millions of human children, while the chosen target is a member of an endangered species. Tonya Johnson of Wilkesboro, Oklahoma who was visiting the zoo the day Harambe was shot said, “You can go and see 4 year old children in any mall in the world for free, why kill the gorilla?”. When asked if she would support shooting the gorilla if her child was in the same situation she said, “Sure, but we are talking about someone else’s kid. My kid is an angel and has never did wrong.”

The Zoo’s methods for dispatching the gorilla also came into question by an onlooker, “The zoo claims (Harambe) would not have fell down immediately with tranquilizers, well let me tell you, I have seen enough movies where it does work like that. It makes you wonder how these zoo people get to call themselves experts. All they had to do was use the darts like in the Captain America movie.”

Signups for the poo-in event start this Friday, entry fee is $20 or a donation of 5 banana bunches. Entrants are urged to bring their own poo, organizers say there will also be poo available for a nominal fee for those with regularity issues. Organizers stress that niffing of fingers is encouraged but due to health concerns it is asked that participants only eat lice from the hair of immediate family members.

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