Governor Pardons Robert Downey Jr., Rights To Jury, Salsa Restored

The Governor of California, Jerry Brown has pardoned Iron Man actor Robert Downey Jr. for his convictions of drug and weapons charges dating back to the 1990’s. “Govena Moonbeam” as his constituents lovingly call him has cited Downey’s reconfiguration of his life since the convictions as reasons for the pardon.

Downey Jr., the son of famous fabric softener king Robert Downey Sr, had fallen on hard times in the 90’s after repeated arrests and convictions for drugs, weapons, and permitless yard sales. The actor has since rebounded from those hard times and in the 2000’s he became sober and found success in the movies playing the title roles in Sherlock Holmes, & Iron Man.

The Governor in issuing his pardon stated, “Evidencing that since his release from custody he has lived an honest and upright life, exhibited good moral character and conducted himself as a law-abiding citizen. To quote Ghostface Killah, Tony Stark, makes you feel he’s the cool exec with a heart of steel. As Iron Man all jets a-blaze, he’s fighting and smiting with repulsor rays.”

Though the pardons are considered as largely symbolic, as the convictions remain on the books, they do restore Mr Downey Jr’s rights to serve on a jury and do the Salsa dance in California.

Downey fought the Salsa ban for decades, ultimately losing out on his appeal with the Califonia Supreme Court citing the Latin legal precedent Convictus No Grindus. The pardon is a bittersweet victory for Downey as he is pleased with the pardon allowing his return to his first love of Salsa dancing, he now faces the long hard task of getting out of jury duty.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.