Governor Cuomo Gives Timeline To Resume Full Time Bashing Trump

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo finally answered questions from the press today on when he can expect to resume full scale bashing of President Trump.

“Look, as you know we have all had to make sacrifices during this crisis, and as painful as it has been I have had to reduce my criticism of the President.

In talking to my advisors, we have developed a four phase plan to resume full on criticism. This plan will be data driven, so the timeline may vary.”

The plan according to the Governor:

Phase 1: Veiled shots. These will be random, unprovoked shots at the President to give the base a little meat to get them through.

Phase 2: Unwarranted criticism. When something negative happens, we will contort the situation until we can loosely trace it back to the President and criticize him for it.

Phase 3: Straw man arguments. We will develop positions to attribute to the President, and then rip those positions to shreds.

Phase 4: Outright blame and misrepresentation. The final phase, we will outright blame the President for every conceivable issue, and misrepresent his official position, and the results of his official positions. Nothing bad in the world will be anyone’s fault but his.

The Governor went on to stress patience from the press until he can get to stage 4. “Our experts tell us if we resumed to phase four too quickly, the rush of excitement and invigoration could be too much for many of the press pool to handle at one time.”

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