US Department Of Redundancy Department To Close This Month

The United States’ Department Of Redundancy Department is scheduled to close at the end of this…

Man Dies From Lack Of Bread, Milk During Snowstorm

A local man was found dead in his apartment today following yesterday’s snowstorm. Police suspect that…

Team Sets 2017 NFL League Attendance Record Due To Monster Jam Poster Error

The Philadelphia Eagles set a 2017 NFL league attendance record this past Sunday with 1,217 fans…

Procrastination Study Results Delayed

A long anticipated study regarding the long term effects of procrastination conducted by the US Department…

Mayor Larry Vaughn Declares Amity Island A Safe Sanctuary City

Amity Island Mayor Larry Vaughn spoke with reporters today about the recent spike in missing people,…

Russian Dressing At Trump Plaza Salad Bar, Dems Want Answers

The Trump administration is embroiled in another controversy today as an anonymous source revealed to CNN…

A Look Back At 2016’s Top Stories

It’s that time of year that we take a look back at the top stories that…

Scientists Find Link Between Birthdays & Longevity

Scientists at the US Institute For Health today released findings from their 6 year study on…

CIA Analyst Links Aliens To Presidential Election Interference

A prominent CIA analyst believes that alien life forms may have interfered with the United States…

Protestors Try To Stop The Hate With Gentle Beatings, Vandalism, Name Calling

President Elect Donald Trump delivered his acceptance speech Wednesday morning telling those listening, “I pledge to…