“Wet Bandits” Burglary Ring Suspects Spotted In Local Neighborhood

“Wet Bandits” Spotted Locally Police are warning local residents to be on the lookout for a…

Radio Station Thanksgiving Promotion Turns Tragic

A Thanksgiving promotion conducted by a Cincinnati radio station turned tragic last night. The radio station…

Smith’s Grove Sanitarium Escaped Patient Suspect In Halloween Slayings

Haddonfield, Illinois- An escaped patient from the Smith’s Grove Sanitarium is the prime suspect in a…

Local Road To Close 76 Years For Culvert Pipe Replacement

Drivers on Route 7 should be prepared for a slight detour when they begin their morning…

Russian Interference Feared In American Idol Voting

It is feared that Russian intelligence forces may have meddled in voting on the latest episode…

Controversy: Justin Timberlake SuperBowl Ad Featuring Grimace Hologram

There is a growing controversy brewing over this past Sunday’s McDonald’s SuperBowl commercial. The commercial featured…

US Department Of Redundancy Department To Close This Month

The United States’ Department Of Redundancy Department is scheduled to close at the end of this…

Man Dies From Lack Of Bread, Milk During Snowstorm

A local man was found dead in his apartment today following yesterday’s snowstorm. Police suspect that…

Team Sets 2017 NFL League Attendance Record Due To Monster Jam Poster Error

The Philadelphia Eagles set a 2017 NFL league attendance record this past Sunday with 1,217 fans…

Procrastination Study Results Delayed

A long anticipated study regarding the long term effects of procrastination conducted by the US Department…