Tech

Pokemon Go Blamed For Rise In Severe Sunburn Injuries

Popular gaming app Pokemon Go is being blamed for a rise in reported sunburn injuries at local Emergency Rooms across the country. Doctors don’t believe the severe sunburn is caused…

Weather

Sports

Broward County Finds 11 Points, Superbowl Stay Issued

A NFL scorer in Broward County, Florida has found 11 uncounted points from this past Sunday’s SuperBowl. According to the scorer, the 11 points all were in favor of the…

Health

Wal-Mart To Continue Cigarette, Opioid Sales, “Addiction Too Profitable”

US retail giant Wal-Mart recently announced they would be limiting ammunition sales due to concerns with loss of life related to shootings. Though shootings are statistically a minuscule cause of…

Procrastination Study Results Delayed

A long anticipated study regarding the long term effects of procrastination conducted by the US Department of Health has been delayed once again. The study, commissioned back in 1985 was…

Politics

Democrats Call In Reinforcements To Help With Iowa Counts

The Democrat party’s struggle to deliver counts from last night’s Iowa Caucus continues this morning. In a bid to get the counts tabulated, the Party has contracted with the Children’s…

National

A Look Back At 2016’s Top Stories

It’s that time of year that we take a look back at the top stories that shaped 2016. Alien Election Intervention The CIA released a report after the 2016 Presidential…

Local

Local Woman Yelling At Cat In Restaurant Arrested

A local woman was arrested last night for creating a disturbance in a downtown upscale restaurant. According to police the perpetrator was seen screaming and yelling at a cat at…

“Wet Bandits” Burglary Ring Suspects Spotted In Local Neighborhood

“Wet Bandits” Spotted Locally Police are warning local residents to be on the lookout for a local burglary ring known as “The Wet Bandits”. The alleged thieves are known to…

Entertainment

“It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” Pulled From Radio

It seems the controversy over “Baby It’s Cold Outside” won’t be the last controversy for classic Christmas radio this year. WWTF in Shermer, Illinois announced they would immediately cease playing…

Business